What does it mean to be a pro?

Triathlon is hard. The logistics, energy demands, and training needed to be competitive are bonkers when you think about it. To become a pro, you need to be college-recruit worthy in three sports and have the resources to pursue all of them with serious dedication.

That’s what has my brain convulsing this week - the feeling that being excellent at three-sports-masquerading-as-one seems no longer enough to be taken seriously as a pro. There are of course, exceptions. If you’re in the super tippy top of the ranks, like the Daniela-level, you could probably hand your social accounts to a barely literate toddler and still have 100K followers and heaps of sponsorship.

On the other hand, you can have pretty meh results, but have a massive social presence and voila! You’re raking in the sponsorships as well. And if you’re both great at triathlon and have all the creative mojo, well then, you’re That Triathlon Life and reign supreme.

So, as I’m toiling away in Tucson without a film crew, friend, or photographer in sight, it just made me think, “Why doesn’t just doing the work seem like enough anymore?”

Am I the only one that feels that way?

And maybe this feeling is amplified because I am on my onesies most of the time. Without others to validate that you did something hard, particularly well, or even moderately okay - it seems anti-climactic to just have a moment to yourself to say, “Well done me!” And with the validation of a race result so far in the distance and not guaranteed, instagramming every session gives you a little oxytocin bump en route to the goal you’re really shooting for.

I’m not sure, but it feels about right? And before it seems like I’m hating on social media, I promise that’s not the case. I’m just mulling over why it has become the norm/obligatory and what happens if you can’t or don’t make time for it (because boy is it time and attention consuming).

But what I do know is that I had to do a little self-reflection to understand where my question was coming from. As someone balancing a full time job and pro triathlon career, I frequently make concessions on both fronts. I don’t rest as much as I should because I need to be on an 8:30 call or I leave early from a work trip to get back to training. It’s imperfect, but it’s the best I can currently do while choosing to do both.

I’ve finally come around to the idea that trying to be my best while making those concessions isn’t going to cut it. I get grumpy looking at competitors on instagram with their film crews because I am jealous of their seemingly single-minded pursuit. And jealousy is always a great indicator of showing us what we really want.

So this year for me is about being all in and chasing what I really want. And this two-month block in Arizona is part of that objective. It’s about committing to the process knowing that the validation isn’t guaranteed. It’s about making the choices to dedicate as much of my time and effort to this pursuit to see what happens, so I can’t and don’t doubt that I’m doing enough.

And a footnote before I finish - I’m picking up writing about this for a few reasons, but here’s the top one. I think we’re often shown things about before and afters. The “I tried my first triathlon and this is what happened…” and then “Watch what super pro Kristen Blummenfelt does in a day.”

Both are reasonable stories, but they aren’t relatable for very long or to very many. I want to talk about the messy middle - it’s where so much doubt, vulnerability, and hopefully triumph (?) can exist. And I think/hope you’ll be able to relate.

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And p.p.s thanks to the folks who have supported me in following my dreams - couldn’t do it without you. (Tres Pinas, Output Speedlab, and PH <3)